Dictionary DeLiso and Priceless Quotes
Being at a nerd camp, there are a few select people here possessing egos so large that--when they can fit their egos through the doorway--their mere presence in a medium-sized room can occasionally suffocate everyone else inside. For some, this is manifested in behaviour by using exccessively obfuscatory verbiage (and you thought I was bad...). Others just attempt to constantly ask questions about the most arcane and technical topics possible, regardless of whether it is actually applicable to the topic of dicussion in the classroom--much to the annoyance of our resident Italian, Guglielmo. And finally, there are others who try to sound smart by trying to ask obscure and probing questions, but who fall flat on their face every single time. I realized the other day that these pointless questions and needlessly complicated phrases are nothing short of priceless. I'm trying to compile a list of all of these laughable snippets that I can, plus other funny quotes and questions from SSP that demonstrate clearly that even the "nerd" is really quite an ignorant beast. Please submit them if you have any, and don't feel bad if you are quoted. We all have our moments of weakness... just some more than others. Here is the beginning:
"utilize" = use (there's only one time that anyone can remember when this person actually said "use" not "utilize")
"interior locking mechanism" = lock
"So, how exactly would air resistance affect that?" -- A question asked during a brief review of the kinematics of freely falling bodies
"So, if its traveling at a constant velocity, does that mean that it's at terminal velocity?" -- Again, while talking about freely falling bodies
-A Brief Dialogue-
TA: "I really only feel like eating half of a piece of pizza."
Student: [Dead serious] "Well, that depends on how you define "half". If you cut a piece of pizza in half, each half is still technically a piece of pizza."
--
-Another Brief Dialogue-
Prof: "Can anyone identify this person?"
Student: "Benjamin Franklin?"
Prof: "No, Bach"
Student: "Damn"
--
"Gamma rays and x-rays...they have different properties right?"
"Is it possible to see the past?"
"Is it possible to have negative civilization?" -- with regard to Drake equation
"Are you bassing NASHA?"
"So, what exactly qualifies as 'dating'?"
"Do you doubt that you doubt...?"
"When have I ever asked a stupid question?"
... And now I must go give a lecture on cold fusion.
Actually, there are quite a few nerds who don't even try to act that way. They are so disconnected with reality, due in part to their sheltered lives, that they don't even realize how weirdly they behave. There's this one kid I met recently who barely makes eye contact and will interrupt others with worthless, verbose questions or comments. It's somewhat pathetically lame that he doesn't even comprehend his anti-social tendencies.
The half piece comment seems logical. It's odd to define it in terms of something with a variable quantity.
There's this one other kid I know who may have some form of touret's syndrome. He will randomly shout out in German or curse the government with no provokation. He'll start spewing out words like "post-imperialism" and when asked how they're relevant, says, "I don't know." He has no clue about what he talks about. I feel sorry for him.
Actually, I'd say that the standard definition of a piece of pizza is within a rather narrow range. How many pizzas have you seen whose pieces were a widely different size than other pizzas? And if you have seen some, they were decidedly different, and their pieces were noticed because they were outside of the standard spectrum.